my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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