Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
it glows. i had to have it.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
