I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
