I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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