Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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