Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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