I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
