Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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