Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
