I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
