Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
