your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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