The maid of honor just puked.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
