We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
