You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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