You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
