We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
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