You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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