Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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