she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
