Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
