they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
