think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
