Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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