you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
We named our party play list daddy issues
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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