So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
