it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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