either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I could fuck to npr.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
