It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
