No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
