school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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