If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
