Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
