you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
