I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize