her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
