your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
