Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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