As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
