Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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