guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
