just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
