Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
