Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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