what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
The beer is more important than you right now.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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