You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize