Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
