i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
