Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
