Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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