apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
