Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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