whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
