i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize