just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize