I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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