I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
