Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
my shit smells like andre
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize