I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
A bitchslap is in order.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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