That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
